Thursday, May 15, 2008

I hear its not good...

Thanks to Jess Sum, our guest-blogger this week! Steve and I missed Top Chef last night, as we were at a party celebrating the end of my 1L year at law school! I'm sure we'll catch the ep at some point during the week - I'm pretty sure Bravo only has about three shows, and they just constantly re-run them to fill the schedule. So here is Jess' take on last night's Top Chef:

We all should have known it wasn't going to end well when one of the first shots included Richard climbing out of bed with the perfect faux-hawk and purple clogs in full display.

So the quick fire was hosted by "Tall, Dark, and Boring as Corrugated Cardboard" Sam from Season Two, AKA the season Steve, Desiree, and I all fell in love...with Top Chef. Salad? Salad! Padma, fighting a love-hate relationship with all things Botox, fights the power and informs the remaining seven contestants the challenge is the nebulous vegetable/fruit/???? presentation. Forty-five minutes is a ridonculous chunk of time, yet underdog Stephanie still fails to plate her artichoke chips. To sum up? Blais is a looooser and Spike is a weeeeiner. We've officially entered bizarro foodieville. Dead face, er, Padma informs the chefs that the challenge is a health one, where they must incorporate a whole wheat, lean protein, one fruit, and one veggie. The prize (Spike) consists of a 10 minute shopping advantage and the "I saw it first so it's MINE" rule: Anything he picks, no one else can have. Of course, our be-hatted Lame-poleon is in it to F--- he elects BREAD, TOMATO, LETTUCE, and CHICKEN. If there were only some way to rearrange those letters to "Yeah, you're right, I'm the world's supreme d-bag. It's cool. Bartender?"

So, we're off. Our audience? The Chicago police force, a group of hard-working, well-deserving citizens. As a member of Kill-a-delphia, we love our boys in blue!! False Maki by Andrew (the allegeded nutrition expert), "DO YOU LIKE BURRITOS??" by Richard, grease-follicle rice with Lisa, and I-bought-every-standard-ingredient-I-could-think-of-to-f----over-my-competitors Spike and his "Pedestrian" lunch. With supremely subtle editing and pedamtic teasers, we often can call the ending twenty minutes into an episode. And thing would be an example.

I do not agree with the eliminaton. Rules certainly do exist, but garbage is what it is. Restaraunt Wars awaits us all.

1 comment:

Los said...

Man - what a bitch Lisa is ... I never minded her before, but after last night, I hate her more than I hate Dale (or anybody else from season 3).

I originally hated Andrew, but began to like him - he was a funny guy ... I would've rather seen Spike knocked off (he's Andrew Light).